


Anyone Who Knows What Love Is

by BurningBroadripple



Series: YOI Music Week drabbles [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 1960s, Angst, Character Study, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, Yuri on Ice Music Week 2017, ex lover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 19:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12042594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningBroadripple/pseuds/BurningBroadripple
Summary: A drabble of Chris's thoughts after the engagement is announced.(Directly influenced by that episode of Black Mirror)





	Anyone Who Knows What Love Is

**Author's Note:**

> Just some introspective pining Chris reflecting on his feelings for Victor.
> 
> Anyone who knows what love is by Irma Thomas

“Congrats on your marriage! Everyone, my good friend here just got married!” The restaurant erupts in applause just as Yuuri starts flailing about, trying to set the record straight and get Phichit to calm down. Yuri looks furious, Otabek looks confused. But Chris isn't paying attention to any of that: his focus is entirely on Victor. Beautiful, flawless Victor.

_ You can blame me _ __  
_ Try to shame me _ _  
_ __ And still I'll care for you

He can't help but stare at those perfectly plump lips, wonder what flavor lip balm is on them. In the back of his mind he knows he's said something about getting married if Yuuri wins gold, but he doesn't care about that right now. All he can think about is that sinful pink tongue and the way is peaks out of his mouth as he laughs. About that smooth voice that he wants to wrap himself up in like a blanket.

_ You can run around _ __  
_ Even put me down _ _  
_ __ Still I'll be there for you

It isn't that Chris isn't happy in his relationship, or even that he's upset Victor has found love with Yuuri. But the thing about your first love, especially when you see them at every competition, is that you never really forget, never really get them fully out of your system.

_ The world _ __  
_ May think I'm foolish _ __  
_ They can't see you _ __  
_ Like I can _ __  
_ Oh but anyone _ __  
_ Who knows what love is _ __  
__ Will understand   


The worst past is that Chris knows Victor doesn't see him like that anymore, knows he never really did. But Chris was young and so smitten and he would have done anything Victor asked back then. Hell, if he's honest with himself, he'd still drop everything and run off with Victor if he asked him to. But while Victor was Chris's first love, he's painfully aware that he was not Victor's, that Victor never fell hard and fast for him the way he did. And oh, what a wonderful feeling it was to be so head over heels, so entirely consumed by your feelings for someone.

_ I just feel so sorry  _ __  
_ For the ones _ _  
_ __ Who pity me

Painful too, of course, but the kind of pain you welcome, like the ache in your muscles after a hard practice. It was a pain you earned, a silent reminder of what giving your everything to the sport you love feels like. Loving Victor was like drinking hot coffee - you know it's going to burn your throat, but you still can't wait to take that first sip because it doesn't taste nearly as good once it's not dangerous.

_ 'Cause they just don't know _ _  
_ _ Oh they don't what happiness love can be _

When everyone files out of the restaurant, Chris trails in the back, watching Victor and Yuuri walk hand in hand down the street. He doesn't miss the subtle smiles between them, or the way they stop and admire the glint off their rings at every street light. The quiet whispers, the gleam in their eyes. He knows he's lost Victor for good this time, that their ship has finally sailed never to return to Port.   


_ I know _ __  
_ I know to ever let you go _ __  
_ Oh, it's more than I could ever stand _ __  
_ Oh, but anyone _ __  
_ Who knows what love is _ _  
_ __ Will understand

And maybe that's for the best, maybe now Chris can try to move on, to forget the nights they spent tangled together in his sheets during those summer camps in Juniors, the way Victor called his name the first time they came together, the scratch marks he wore like a badge of honor, the rose Victor gave him that still sits in his childhood bedroom.

_ Oh they'll understand _ __  
_ If they try love, they'll understand  _ _  
_ __ Oh, try to understand

When he gets back to his own room he finds Masumi draped across the bed, a book in one hand, his other petting their beloved cat. He may not be Victor Nikiforov, but he loves him and treats him like a king. He's put his own career on hold to help Chris promote his, to be his pillar of support.

He may not be Victor, but Chris thinks that's probably a good thing.

 

 

Then again, you never  _ really _ forget your first love.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this waiting in a car, please let me know if you find any mistakes.
> 
> Feedback is loved.


End file.
